Shame is the liar that wraps itself around you, dragging you down with every step…

In the grip of struggles, challenges, addictions, bad habits, when guilt already wreaks havoc, shame comes to steal the hope that once offered release.

Shame will never be the factor that sets you free – shame often pulls you deeper into the very places you long to run from.

In our own strength we rarely find freedom, there’s a greater power needed to break the chains that enslave us. That power is grace.

I’ve walked through many troubles, stepped too close to the edge of life too many times, and by God’s grace I’m still here. Many of these experiences were journeys that took time…and lots of it. Choosing daily who I was living for.

One time I found myself up against a new challenge, one I had never expected to face, causing me to make some seriosuly wrong choices. Days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months…what initially seemed harmless began to torment my mind and before I knew it, shame outweighed anything and I felt trapped.

I would cry out to God, beg Him to take this trouble away – but through the cloak of shame, I couldnt see any escape route offered. His love felt a million miles away, clouded out by the weight of sin.

One bad decision often leads to another, leading us down a dark path, which can seem to have no way out. You become blind to the truth and resign yourself to failure.

On the eve of potentially being about to knowingly cross the line and make a very bad decision the next day, I found myself crawling into bed in a state of complete double-mindedness…on the one hand, crying out for strength to make a different choice…on the other, resigned to failure.

I woke at 3:45am…nothing spectacular roused me from sleep…no angels in the room, no loud voice giving me an answer…just stillness.

In that dark, midnight hour, I felt to go and sit in my chair and wait on the Lord. I had no plan, no purpose, no idea what would happen…

I went…I sat…I lit candles and let the light fill the room before sunrise. I read the word, I prayed…but mostly I was still… I didn’t really understand what was happening, but in that moment I knew the Lord was fighting for me…all I had to do was sit…and wait…

After 3 hours it was done.
His loved flooded every part of my being…causing me to turn me heart from the lies of this struggle back to Him…
True, heart-felt repentence poured out of my soul…
His strength rose up within me…
His grace covered me replaced the cloak of shame.

It was over…
It was finished…

In the depth of night, in the midnight hour, His love cried out, His unfathomable grace broke the chains that held me down.

No judgement…no condemnation…
He didnt abandon the dark places of my soul…
He didn’t point the finger and place blame…
He loved me to the core of my being…and fought my battle for me…

His grace found me in the darkest hour…
His grace refused to leave me there…

His grace changes everything…
We don’t deserve it…yet He gives it…
More than that…He will reach deep down in the darkest place to stop us falling…
In His great love, His grace is poured out…
We don’t have to strive for it…we don’t receive it in our own strength…
We stand…we sit…we rest…in Him.

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