The power of Love is amazing…not just any love, but God’s love, poured out on the cross for us…a love that can run into the deepest places.
His love can literally cover any sin…any hurt…any disease and bring healing and restoration.
BUT…this verse is not an instruction, or even excuse, to create a culture of secrecy – particularly surrounding abusive circumstances. The love talked about here is not a ‘blanket’ to be thrown over sin, covering it up in the name of protection, hiding what’s festering away underneath.
Love is not a band-aid to stick on a wound and hope it heals.
No one likes to highlight abuse – it’s not a pleasant subject, it’s messy, painful and there are often consequences to the establishment bringing it into the open…let alone to all the individuals involved.
I recently completed some training looking at serious case reviews for abuse in education settings. One case clearly ticked all the boxes for an immediate referral to child protection at the highest level (4). As we went around the room sharing our feedback and justification for chosen level, one member shared how they identified it as a level 1 (lowest level). In theory this was a young child presenting with physical injury, stating it was caused by their parent – and this member of the group had not wanted to “jump to conclusions” or “cause more problems” – particularly in case the child was lying. No wonder so much abuse goes un dealt with.
The church is even more vulnerable in these circumstances. Scripture has often been taken out of context. We are taught that love believes the best, love covers sin and we take no account of a suffered wrong. Believe me, I’ve had all these things said to me in the worst of situations!
Does the bible say these things? Yes. But maybe not as we’ve been led to interpret. There are some things that need to be brought into the light in order to be dealt with. Too often we shy away from dealing with the uncomfortable issues in life – leaving people to drown in depths of shame and despair. Victims afraid to speak up for fear of not being believed, their situation being belittled and then being sent back into the lion’s den to continue to fight for survival.
Does this mean that we should shout from the rooftops and publicly expose every abuser – no, not necessarily. But that does not mean we say and do nothing, pretending it’s never happened and hoping that time will magically erase the issue.
Time does not heal an abuser. Time does not heal a victim.
Love does not cover sin by sweeping it under the carpet, nor does it cover sin by staying in a place of denial.
God, who is Love, allows us to be able to come alongside others and love them in their darkest places. Love does not make an excuse for sin, but it allows us to release His healing. Love gives us a voice to speak up for those who need it, but does not permit needless gossip.
Do I believe in forgiveness? Yes.
Do I believe in restoration? Absolutely.
I believe we are to love unconditionally. But I have learnt that unconditional love does not mean becoming a doormat to be trampled on. Unconditional love believes the best – not disregarding the truth of a situation, or loving the place of pain and acts of abuse – but believing for God’s best for that person. Unconditional love will release anything and anyone back into the hands of God for Him to have His way.
June 5, 2016 at 7:03 pm
Amen! Let us lovingly advocate for the least of these.
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June 5, 2016 at 7:04 pm
Yes…we must!!
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June 5, 2016 at 10:20 pm
Absolutely. Love has amazing power…both the hurt and to heal. But we should NEVER cover up any abuse, especially of a child, for fear of making things more complicated… or even fear that the child is lying. This is why rape goes unreported and uninvestigated among a host of other abuses. And yes, words can be abuse, as well as emotional manipulation and the more obvious physical. I weep to think of the many, many children who have come under care of a public school system and have not found safety.
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June 5, 2016 at 10:22 pm
Yes, yes, yes…so true Anna. Thank you for stopping by and sharing.
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June 10, 2016 at 4:43 am
Such a difficult subject. I once knew a gentle-giant of a man who was regularly abused by his wife less than half his size. He forgave her over and over for nearly 20 years, until he was reduced to a shell of a man at which point the wife divorced him for being weak. Too much love enables that kind of behavior. Godly love must include discipline … and of course, love for self can help a person leave an abusive relationship. Jack
“The LORD disciplines those he loves” (Proverbs 3:12 / Hebrews 12:6).
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June 10, 2016 at 5:00 am
Thank you for your comment… I think the issue is how we define love. Love is not staying and being abused…that is where we have been taught incorrectly. Love has a voice. Love stands up for what is right. You can never have too much love. When you allow someone to abuse you…that is not because you love them…that is because you have become a victim to their abuse that tries to overpower and manipulate in the name of love. Very sad.
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June 10, 2016 at 7:26 am
Do you think part of the problem is we’ve been taught that it is selfish to love ourselves? I know we’re not supposed to regard ourselves more highly than we ought, but neither are we to discount ourselves altogether?
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June 10, 2016 at 2:17 pm
Possibly…
I think there are so many factors that impact on this. When you know who you are in Christ and you know The absolute Truth of His Word then you are armed and equipped to deal with life…but when there is confusion and wounding, it impacts the way we see and deal with things…
Certainly having a healthy sense of self worth and knowing your value would help.
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